"Personal Statement"

I wish there was a way to convey bitter disdain through typological symbols. There should just be a way to indicate that, like @@personal statement@@. Then as you sit there reading the words @@personal statement@@ you would hear in your head my voice, with the mocking respect, and see my hands, doing the air quotes.

What is the @@personal statement@@ all about anyway? Is there really a person out there who can express, in one typed page per question, what their values are, their deepest dreams and goals for the future? If so, who are these people? I have a theory that they are robots who have been sent to earth to shame those of us who don't have a "five year plan."

So yeah, I'm struggling over writing a personal statement for a grad school application. Maybe my difficulty in expounding on my personal and professional goals for the next five years is somehow tied to my ambivalence about going back to school. (I hate self-awareness by the way; ignorance is much easier).

I will say it, here, out loud for the world to hear. I do not have a five year plan. I do not have any career goals beyond what I need to improve upon in the immediate future. I do not know where I want to go, what I want to be, and I think that's okay. I do not think about the moments in my career of which I am most proud, or reflect on my @@greatest accomplishment@@. I honestly tend to not get too psyched up about myself. Once you start feeling you are wonderful and have all these shining moments is the time you stop trying to improve yourself.

But how do you convey that attitude in a @@personal statement@@ in a way that doesn't have the admissions committee saying %%yeah, we want her in our program%%.

And I probably should have been using this time to work on my personal statement....



%% = sarcastic disapproval